Besides being in my room and doing nothing at all, I like to write on my own free time. I have been working on a story since last summer. The main character, me, is facing her challenges in life and what she can do to solve it. I haven't given my story a title yet, though I have a feeling it'll change over time because my writing will improve sooner or later. Being in Mrs. Bilonta's L.A. class from junior high, I experienced entering poetry contests two years in a row, which involved writing haikus and cinquains. Even though I haven't won, I feel proud of what I've written.
Goals for this year, I feel I have a difficulty in being more creative with my words and vocabulary. I also want to improve voicing out my senses and thoughts and write them on paper, giving it much detail.
Hi Desiree,
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you’ve got a good background in poetry and have been proud of the work you’ve done. We’ll be studying poetry during the second semester.
Here are my comments on your writing pre-assessment: Your essay provides a unified description of your friend Seb and the experiences you’ve shared with him. To strengthen the piece, I would recommend focusing on one incident in your friendship. Right now, you talk about his moving to California, the fight you had, and your keeping in touch online. I think if you pick one of those to highlight, you would give your reader a more in-depth look at your friendship and would be able to show it, rather than tell or explain about what Seb meant to you. It would help to include dialogue, actions, sight details, to bring whichever experience you select, to life.
For your idea bank: Nice job of recording your feelings and responses to the various prompts. It would help to add specific details about the others involved, the setting, your actions, etc.
mrs s