There’s no doubt
that bird watching
is a favorite pastime of mine
Nature and solitude
are my escape
It brings a sense of peace and serenity to my inner self
As an athlete,
competitiveness
drives me and provides the
resolve needed to achieve a personal best
Autonomous. Boyish. And young at heart.
My love for animals
has never changed,
but has evolved greatly over the years
I will continue my duty to watch over them
For they are my lifelong comrades
Note: Allusion refers to the Greek goddess Artemis and/or her Roman equivalent Diana.
Hello desiree, Your poem has a great flow. I like how it first describes you and more into detail into what you are, for example the athletic part. With this poem, i also know something interesting about you, which is that you like animals, i didnt know that. Well, overall, your poem is really good. It totally matches you.
ReplyDeleteHi Desiree,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Leo that you've done a nice job on your poem.
I like the contrast between the serenity of Nature and the competitiveness of the athlete.
Be sure to correct the agreement error in verse 2: "Nature and solitude are..." so the "it" of the third line should be consistent in number..."They..."
I recommend adding a bit more detail to the last part...do you have pets? How can you "show not tell" that animals are your comrades?
Nice job!
mrs s