When my parents and I inspected the house we live in now, it felt like being in a maze. The carpeted rooms were desolate and the hallways seemed identical. Moving from one place to another put most of the stress and pressure on my parents and for the rest of the family. The moving truck backed up into the driveway with nearly all of our belongings. My dad's barbeque set and the bikes my younger brother and I used to ride were left behind. Mixed emotions were what I was feeling. A sudden burst of excitement grew and yet, at the same time, I was reluctant to move on. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. There were unforgettable memories that always seemed to bring me back, as I often got sidetracked looking into photo albums, while digging through boxes that contained an item or two for me to put onto the shelf.
The place we rented had to be renovated. You could tell it was an old house. Paint faded and peeled. The wooden floor creaked. Most of the time when my dad drops me off to school in the morning, we pass by our old house to see it in a damaged condition. A plump field mouse scurried in the tall, straw-like grass. My dad spotted it before I did when we stopped at the red traffic light coming down from Likelike Highway. Proof that there was a car accident a few years ago, the wired fence hadn't been repaired. When we lived there, our backyard was much livlier and in order. Til this day, the house never was renovated. In the night, a few roaches, the size of the length of your pinky, would appear and scramble when the light switch went on.
Now, we needn't worry about those problems. Keeping our new home organized from top to bottom was a need, since my mom planned to hold a foster home downstairs. Sixth grade was drawing to a close and it was summertime again. A few months before my mom started bringing in patients, there was an empty room where I hung out, usually listening to one of my brothers whine about not winning in the game, while the other just got lucky. To my rascal siblings, that room was known as "The Boogieman Room." Maybe it was named that, since the long shadows of the branches of the tree gave it a Halloween effect at night.
Aside from being in my room upstairs, watching the latest episodes of Naruto Shippuden and Bleach on the computer, I like to spend my time in that room working out my lower body strength and stamina with an orange jump rope with blue handles. Less than a few months passed by. There was only a short period of time left until someone would move into that room and call it theirs; the room where they'll grow accustomed to it, just as we did on our way here from our old home. The rustling of leaves and the calm breeze that blew in through the screen window made life feel at ease, as the pen in my hand nudged its way from left to right as I wrote in my diary. Written here in this very book, we moved in on Saturday, May 19, 2007. It became a new chapter of my life...more memories and dreams yet to discover and fulfill.
You did a good job on ezplaining how your place looks like, just put a little bit more of sensory details. Also, try explaining why your querencia place feels like "querencia"--why it is a special place, a place in which you carry on belefs and a place that you feel secure.
ReplyDeleteBut great approach towards this essay draft!
like Traci said, place sensory details in it. i feel it'ss greatly strengthen your draft although by now you'd had turned it in. I'm sorry. it's a wonderful draft that can be made into a better draft and a better Final!
ReplyDelete